Pain and pleasure

Pleasure and pain - two words that many people would not associate with each other at first. But in fact, pain and pleasure is deliberately induced by many couples during lovemaking. The foreign word for this is algolagnia, a neologism from the 19th century, which is derived from Greek. The terms algos (pain) and lagneia, which means lust, were combined here. In fact, this description is quite to the point, because algolagnia refers to the desire for pain during sexual intercourse. You may be more familiar with the term BDSM. This is an abbreviation consisting of four letters, which, however, unite six terms. To decipher them, the letters must always be read in pairs - i.e. BD, DS and SM. BD stands for Bondage and Discipline. DS stands for Dominance and Submission. And SM is probably already familiar to many, it stands for Sadism and Masochism.

Officially discredited, but still frequently practised, are in particular beatings during sex and the pain of pleasure felt as a result. The intensity with which sexual partners exercise this predilection ranges from light blows and harmless slaps on the buttocks to cane spankings. There is no clear demarcation between the different variants of fancy lovemaking. However, there are rules that are followed in the scene. Both consenting sexual partners perform this form of love play by mutual agreement and voluntarily. In addition, a certain word is always specified in advance, which implies a stop. The respective partner is asked to stop immediately by the so-called safeword. In this way, nothing can get out of hand and both parties can fully enjoy the pain of pleasure.

So much for the terminology. How exactly do you imagine such a scenario? Contrary to what some people think, the sexual partners in BDSM do not beat each other wildly. There is usually always one part that is aroused by the infliction of pain. The other partner therefore has a submissive disposition — who likes to be controlled and dominated. This partner is thus aroused by the inflicted pain and not by the infliction of pain. Ties, gags or handcuffs are usually used to restrain the submissive partner. The unusual love play begins with light chastisements or tender slaps. The pain of pleasure can be intensified, for example, with a blindfold that prevents the submissive partner from seeing what awaits him. In this way, pleasure and pain become an exciting experience for both participants. In the further course, alternating stroking and beating takes place. Various tools can also be used at this point. These include, for example, leather, straps, whips or the cane. In general, the intensity is increased slowly but continuously during the entire lovemaking - as far as both partners want it. Due to the positive link between pleasure and pain, the pain is perceived as extremely pleasant. There are no limits to the imagination, and each couple will find their preferences.

Let's face it, just flogging your girlfriend is a bit boring. That's why games with pain are extremely popular. Electroshock games, spanking games and cane whipping are among them. This kind of love play requires imagination.

As already mentioned, blindfolding, for example, is an additional highlight that you could try out during your love play. Not knowing what will happen next definitely increases the tension. And spanking games are also a good way to start. These are about getting your butt spanked, literally, or spanking it — depending on your perspective. From the flat of the hand to straps or floggers, all kinds of aids are conceivable here. When playing with temperatures, it's either hot or ice-cold. Oils, ice cubes and, for the more experienced, candle wax are popular helpers. You should always approach candle wax sex with caution because the temperature is difficult to estimate at first. You can also use candles specially designed for this purpose, such as massage candles. In general, pain should not bring pleasure to a standstill, but instead promote it. To make the pleasure complete, mutual trust is essential in all games.

Sadism or masochism is fascinating. While women tend to prefer the submissive part and are masochistically inclined, men often tend to the opposite. Sadistic sex is therefore statistically more of a male thing, even if exceptions, of course, confirm the rule.

In the masochistic role, women not only like to feel the pain of pleasure through beatings during sex. It is above all the thought of being at the mercy of others and being submitted through bondage that plays a supporting role. It is the submission itself that really triggers the pleasure. In addition, satisfaction comes from controlling the other person and exercising power or playing power games. What people tend to do in detail is of course to be considered individually. Masochistically inclined men are in any case a rarity, as the ratio is 20 women to one man.

Sex (the act itself) without painful pleasure also occurs. However, the pain is then inflicted during foreplay to increase arousal. More often, pain is inflicted during sexual intercourse. The submission of the partner or being submitted to by the partner ultimately boosts the pleasure on both sides even more. So, why stop there?

Have you had fantasies or a desire in this direction for some time? Or have you now spontaneously felt like giving it a try? The desire for pain has been socially acceptable at least since the release of 50 Shades of Grey. Why not give it a try and go on an adventure with your partner or someone else you trust? Pleasant tingling and anticipation of the pain, which turns into pure pleasure, are waiting for you. A fantasy that has been kept secret for a long time suddenly becomes reality. Or who knows, maybe you'll discover a whole new side of yourself.