Do you often or even permanently have to struggle with back pain? Have you even been diagnosed with a slipped disc? Or are you possibly already recovering from an operation on your intervertebral discs? In all these cases, you probably think that you should now abstain from sex for quite a while — right? Well, far from it! There are some extremely convenient and gentle sex positions that you can use even with back pain and even postoperatively. We have asked researchers, medical specialists and clinics for information on what kind of sex you can have without problems, even with damaged intervertebral discs! You can also find out here which positions you should definitely avoid from now on for the sake of your back health. It would really be too bad if you had to give up the most beautiful pastime in the world eventually because of your uncomfortably painful spine, wouldn't it? So, let's get started!
If you suffer from back pain, you certainly have little or no desire for sex. It's no surprise, then, that according to a Canadian survey, 84% of all men and 73% of women who suffer from back problems have significantly less sexual intercourse. Although there are some help (positions), there is unfortunately no ideal position that is suitable for all types of pain. The Canadians therefore took an unusual route to discover the best positions for spine protection. They filmed couples with back pain during sex — using a technique that is also used in animated films. This made it possible for the scientists to identify exactly which positions put the least strain on the spine.
Both partners play it safe when you get intimate in the good old missionary position. This position is the most comfortable for you and your sweetheart as soon as your back is bothering you. We can't understand why this position is considered rather boring, old-fashioned, or coy. We definitely see the opposite aspects in it:
You look your sweetheart in the eye and can observe exactly how much he or she enjoys making love. In addition, variations are possible in the missionary position! For example, support your wife with an additional pillow under her back — these reliefs the strain on her spine and the view of her breasts is even better from your perspective. Furthermore, your beloved can either stretch out her legs, bend them or even lift them upwards towards her head. This leads to different intensities and angles of penetration, and certainly makes both of you really hot! Men who suffer from back pain can choose to support themselves in this position with their arms pressed through or on their forearms.
This way you can both enjoy your intimacy to the fullest without having to rely on painkillers or massages afterwards. Long pauses between two “nuptials” are usually a thing of the past with the comfortable missionary position! Nevertheless, please be careful not to overexert yourself. Especially if you have just had an operation, you should refrain from particularly firm thrusts or the strong lifting of the legs. At the same time, the man's upper body should not be too erect, or his back should not be arched. Even though the missionary position is easy on the back, it still puts a certain amount of strain on the spine — for both men and women. Take it a little slower and enjoy the tender togetherness as you did the first time!
Doggy-style or “a tergo” sex (Latin for “behind” or “from behind”) is quite comfortable for him and her in a certain position. But not only that: this position also puts little strain on the spine. However, there are a few points to bear in mind here, too, so that this sex position can be implemented without any problems, even if you suffer from frequent back pain.
It is particularly recommended, for example, that both partners kneel in front of the bed — on a soft surface, of course. This way, the woman can bend her pelvis forward at a right angle and rest her upper body comfortably on the mattress. The man kneeling close behind her can either rest his upper body on the back of his beloved or remain upright with a straight back. The secure and back-friendly hold is achieved by spreading the lower legs on the floor and holding on to the partner's pelvis. Sounds tempting, doesn't it? But you shouldn't move too wildly right away.
Because both the particularly firm thrusting of the man and the stretching of the female pelvis against him would make this position rather unsuitable for disc patients. Gentle, rhythmic movements or the slightly circling pelvis of both partners also lead to harmonious and intimate sex — without any rude awakenings the next morning. If your partner has no spinal problems, you can also try doggy style on the bed. However, you should always make sure that the surface is quite stable so as not to put too much strain on the lower spine. For the variant on the bed, it is therefore helpful to support the woman's upper body with several pillows. This way, both partners avoid too much curvature of the back and pain after doggy sex.
Yes — sex while standing is also good for the spine and good for back pain. In fact, there are two different sex positions, depending on which partner has disc problems.
Good for her
In this scenario, both partners are standing. The lady leans slightly forward and supports herself on a firm surface with her forearms crossed in front of her chest. This should be at about chest height for the woman, so a wide shelf or a dining counter is best suited here. She leans forward slightly while the man penetrates her from behind. The man should be the only one to make the movements here, and again they should not be too firm. If the man keeps his back straight, this position is not too strenuous for him and both of them can concentrate fully on enjoying themselves without pain.
Good for him
A particularly gentle position for men with a painful back sounds at first like relief for the woman. This is because she lies with her upper body on a raised, firm surface while the man stands. With this standing sex variation, it is therefore necessary to declare a table or even the kitchen worktop to be a sex aid.
The lady lies with her back well-supported on this chosen solid surface. Her pelvis protrudes slightly over the edge of the surface, and she wraps her legs around the man's hips. This way he can stand up straight, but at the same time penetrate his beloved deeply. Attention: please keep your posture! Only if the man keeps his back straight can sex in this position be enjoyed without pain. By the way, many people also like this position because the changed angle is interesting for both partners. This great view reduces the pain twice.
Basically, it is advisable to eliminate positions that involve heavy strain, intense movements or twisting of the back from the repertoire of sex positions. Instead, concentrate on foreplay with your sweetheart, which intensifies both love and lust. It has been proven that the arousal curve increases mainly during kissing and caressing before the actual act. You should definitely skip the following positions during sexual intercourse if you (have to) take care of your back health:
Most people think the spooning position is the most comfortable of all. Unfortunately, this is not the case at all. Although it seems so at first glance because you and your partner are completely supported on your sides, your back is not happy here at all. Both women and men have to push their pelvises more towards their partner — which is very hard on the lower spine.
As you can see, there is absolutely no reason to avoid sexual intercourse if you have back pain. It is more a question of “how” than whether it is still possible at all. Therefore, the general advice: refrain from too much effort, weight, and twisting. Instead, enjoy your togetherness — then you will still enjoy plenty of pleasurable hours of intimacy even with a slipped disc. That's a promise!