Sex without climax: How to have fun anyway!

In fact, the ratio is about 3:1. However, on the way to climax, you go through different phases in both orgasms:Arousal phase: Your breasts and nipples, labia and clitoris swell, you get wet and your skin reddens because of the increased blood flow.

• Plateau phase: Your breath and pulse quicken and your muscles become more tense. This causes your vagina to tighten and your clitoris to become more sensitive.

• Orgasm phase: When the excitement of touching your clitoris or vulva is intense enough, your pulse, blood pressure and breathing will shoot up again. The muscles of your pelvic floor and vagina contract rhythmically and an immense feeling of well-being overcomes your body and brain. It's not for nothing that sex takes place in the mind. Because the release of endorphins is an essential part of your arousal and orgasm.

• Recovery phase: Your body calms down again, your breathing calms down and your pulse slows down. However, your arousal curve is still quite high and you could probably reach another orgasm more quickly now.

So, vaginal and clitoral orgasms are decided by whether you come through stimulation of your external sex organ or penetration of your internal pleasure points.

Actually, there are two problems, or three? Of course, men also like extensive sex - but they can come in a very short time. Sometimes "the thing" is done in less than three minutes, when many of us girls are just beginning to feel something like arousal. And: Some gentlemen of creation either care very little about the satisfaction of the woman OR feel like a failure if their sweetheart doesn't come. The former is very frustrating, the latter builds up a lot of pressure - and both are bad for your love life. So what to do if it's been a while since your last orgasm? Quite simply, you can actually practise coming faster or at all. However, it also requires clear instructions to your man, because he has to learn how the stimulation of the clitoris and the G-spot or A-spot works for you. Let's get started!

Do you know exactly where and what kind of stimulation gives you the most pleasure? Because before we bring your partner into the game, you have to be aware of the places where touches send pleasant shivers through your body. There's only one way to find out: give it a try yourself. But it's not just about your private parts, because you definitely have other erogenous zones. The neck, earlobes, breasts and inner thighs, for example, are extremely sensitive to kissing, licking, nibbling, etc. We also discovered one particularly interesting piece of information: women obviously know better how to really turn women on. According to their own data, 86% of girls get their money's worth when it comes to lovemaking between two women. Wow! That's exciting information. Here's your guide for self-discovery and subsequent practice:

1. choose a time and an environment where you are undisturbed and then please switch off your head. Only when you are relaxed will you be able to explore your body.
2. When you start stroking your private parts, try the following: Don't touch the clitoris at all at first, just play around the sensitive pearl. Many women find indirect squeezing, rubbing, tugging or tapping much more arousing than going directly to the nerve-strewn spot.
3. a steady rhythm is also more pleasing to most ladies than abrupt changes in speed. Vary between different tempos and take your time to discover what really gets you going.
4. insider tip from the pros: masturbation dating. Sex therapists advise you to schedule regular "me" times to explore your erogenous zones. Then, when you've got it down and can say exactly where you're really getting off, start instructing your partner.
5. it can be a good idea to stroke yourself to climax in front of your man. This will give him a lasting idea of how he should touch you from now on.

Karezza is derived from the Italian word carezza and means caress. It is a rediscovered sex trend in which the man also voluntarily forgoes an orgasm. This certainly won't work at the first attempt, but if he understands the idea behind it, he will certainly make more of an effort. Because the point here is that the goal of the actual act is not necessarily ejaculation or orgasm. It's more about letting the sexual energy flow and experiencing it consciously without being distracted by orgasmic waves. This type of play usually helps men to put themselves in their partner's shoes. In addition, they then often realise that a climax does not always have to be reached - or even compulsively. Sex is about intimacy, togetherness, letting go and trust - neither he nor she has to come at all costs.

Let's get it straight: a very large proportion of the ladies have no problem having sex without an orgasm. Why should they? Many are aware of the fact that not every woman comes every time. So why put yourself and your partner under unnecessary pressure? Close your eyes and enjoy is therefore the motto for almost all girls. And we women can do that really well, at least if we really feel comfortable with our partner in the bedroom.

• Sabine: I really don't understand why everyone is so fixated on the orgasm. I've had maybe 20 in my life! But to reduce all of sex to those few seconds I find almost strange. I like to sleep with my partner regularly and it's great even without an orgasm.

• Claudi: I am also one of those women who climax quite rarely. But I always see our sex as a journey and I enjoy it as a whole. The short trip to orgasm is great, but it's also short.

• Diana: I've never had a vaginal orgasm - but my sweetheart often licks me clitorally to seventh heaven. I still enjoy our sex to the fullest, why shouldn't I?